Magazine Reflection Part 2

1. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what improved? How did it get better? Why?
I feel like my writing improved most because of all the critiques and drafts i did. My first draft is totally different from my second draft because of day when we sat and broke each and every sentence down. In these critiques we cut paragraphs that were not needed so the overall photo essay could flow better. I also learned alot on how each individual sentence should be structured, like how the action word should come before the noun.



2. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what still needs work? What do you think will help you improve? Why?
I think that my my writing can improve by limiting use of the "ings". A problem that i have is not using the present tend and not getting strait to the point. If i improve on these tactics then i think my writing will become better.



3. Specifically, show us something that improved and describe the path it took to get better. You can quote your article, your drafts, link to evidence, etc.

BEFORE

With Project Wildlife receiving over 300 different species of birds, baby season (spring and summer) seems to have that bulk of the intake. The most common species of bird I’ve seen throughout my experience are pigeons and doves. When baby birds like this pigeon come in no more then a couple weeks old, the volunteers then step in to help tube feed and give it the necessities he or she needs to then be raised here, hopefully to soon be released back into the wild. Baby season has a process of getting ready for by setting up numerous cages and incubators, taking on more volunteers, and receiving more supplies. This is because there is no specific planned day baby birds start arriving; they usually are brought in by the public unexpectedly and frequently. Here at the care center we set up rows of cages with newspaper already laid down inside of them to be prepared for the unexpected.

AFTER

Project Wildlife is at its busiest during spring and summer, also known as baby season, when we handle over three hundred different species of birds. When baby birds come in just a couple weeks old, volunteers get right to work and this is not an easy task. To get ready for baby season, we set up numerous cages and incubators, take on more volunteers, and receive more supplies. At the care center we set up rows of cages with newspaper already laid inside of them so we are prepared for the unexpected. Baby birds start arriving in the spring, and they join opossums, ducks, and rabbits together at the care center.

as you can see the before has alot of those "ings" and in the after i eliminated most of those to make things simpler and strait to the point. Like i said before i also cut stuff that wasnt useful and that didnt do anything for my writing.


4. Describe something specific (or a few things!) that you learned about writing.
*Action words come before the nouns!
*Cut the "ings"
*Get strait to the point